Do you have Theresa May's resilience?

Love or hate her politics, Theresa May is certainly not having a quiet time of it at the moment, and whether you believe it’s of her own making or not, ever since she took office in 2016, she has faced pretty much continual turmoil and crisis, and yet is still standing.

Challenges have come from all sides. She has suffered a humiliating general election result, and most significantly, has been charged with delivering the “poison chalice” of Brexit – something it seems she never would have chosen herself in the first place. She is now trying to balance competing interests and agendas that are, many now acknowledge, virtually incompatible with each other, and her hope of bringing people together to accept her version of a compromise is diminishing fast. Hence, she is receiving damming criticism from pretty much all sides on a daily basis, and her every move is played out in the unforgiving light of the public eye, and dissected by a press looking for simple answers. For those of you also charged with leadership in whatever your field – you will probably agree this sounds like a pretty tough place from which to attempt to lead well.

More recently, some brave commentators on all sides, whilst often disagreeing violently with her approach, have begun to recognise (if begrudgingly!) Theresa May’s impressive resilience. Some haven’t called it that of course, instead calling it “frustrating doggedness” or “foolish perseverance”, but it is resilience none the less. If we are honest, most of us more ordinary mortals might fear we would buckle under much less pressure, and in a much shorter time, than she has had to face it for. At times recently I have wondered how she is even getting out of bed each morning.

Working life for many of us, particularly those in leadership roles, can be so pressured and all-encompassing nowadays, that at times it can totally take over our lives and seem inescapable. All this means we understandably often see success in our career as of crucial importance to our self-worth. If we’ve devoted this much of our self to it, surely it must be?........ When the stakes are this high, in desperately tough work situations many of us may have lost our tempers, had an emotional outburst, or basically just given up and walked away. If we haven’t ever done any of these things – we will probably at least have got very close on at least one occasion.

Resilience is one of the management buzz words of the moment, and means simply (although it’s far from simple to achieve) an ability to face significant challenges and disappointments and pick ourselves up and just keep going.

So, if Theresa May has it, what can we learn from her? How can we be more resilient both at work and at home, so we can pick ourselves up and keep going when we suffer disappointments, or when things just get plain tough for a while? What does she have in place (admittedly we are guessing here, as she’s a very private person) to keep her going?

Well here’s what we know…..

She’s got at least one strong supporter

She clearly has a very strong supporter in Philip, her husband of nearly 40 years. After a recent long and difficult cabinet meeting recently, she mentioned he had been waiting for her with a large glass of her favourite drink when she returned home. She has also commented he finds it very hard to hear her criticised in the press. We all need to know that whatever difficulties we are facing, someone is in our corner. Ideally someone that knows our worth is not just about work, but about who we are as a whole person. That someone can be a partner or other family member, or even a mentor or colleague we trust and respect at work. Ask yourself: Do I have a small network of people who I can really be honest with, or just switch off with, when it gets tough?

She’s working on something she believes is important.

Theresa May grew up in a family where public service was a responsibility to be embraced, and a sense of duty was essential, and she has clearly taken this attitude into her political career. She is prepared to take the rough with the smooth and keep going, as she is doing something she fundamentally believes is important and is very much part of her core values. You may not be in public service, but your core values are still important. Fulfilling them needn’t all come from work, and you can survive for a while with the balance out of kilter, but eventually you will need to redress the balance or you will start to run out of reserves of resilience. Ask yourself: Do you know what your core values are (if not, seek some help to find out, or think about what in life really fulfils you or gives you a buzz)?, and are you getting enough of it from your life as a whole at the moment?

She sets long term goals

When you are knee deep in a crisis, it can seem overwhelming, and thinking about how you might get out of it can be totally daunting. Throughout the last couple of years, whilst she might be said to have made political mistakes, Theresa May has always had a long view of what her role is. She clearly wants to see the UK through the challenges of the Brexit negotiations if she possibly can, to the 2019 deadlines and maybe even beyond. With this long-term goal in mind, she can stop herself being dragged down too much by short term challenges that she faces day to day. Ask yourself: Never mind today or next week, what do I want to have achieved at work/home/wherever in a year/two years’ time?

What light does that put on today’s challenges?

She takes a break

While she may wish she could get away more often, Theresa May is well known for her love of hill walking holidays in the Alps. It’s hard to think of a more different setting to the busyness of her day job running the country, and clearly the fresh air, relative anonymity, and peace and quiet allows her to properly unwind. Don’t wait for a crisis to come to make you realise you needed to take a break some time ago. Regular “breaks” doing something that you love, and that takes up your whole body and brain, like music/sport can keep your reserves topped up. Ask yourself: If you’ve not got a holiday coming up soon, what else helps you regularly switch off? What time can you make to do it again soon?

She has experience to draw on

Before becoming Prime Minister, she had a lot of experience at a senior level in politics, (and a few failures and disappointments along the way) and she clearly knows how to draw on this experience to cope with the challenges of the present. You may have very different experiences, but I am sure you have plenty none the less. It may seem counterintuitive to think back on other times things have gone wrong, but reminding yourself you have already showed resilience (and so can do again), and consciously refining those coping skills can be a useful exercise. Start building up that conscious store of experience now, before you find yourself in need of it. Ask yourself: When things have gone wrong for me before, what have I done to get through? What skills have I shown myself I have? What has worked best? How can those skills help me again now?

These thoughts might help you, or you might already have your own tools you rely on to build your resilience, but do make sure you are taking the time now to think about it, before the next crisis hits, as building your resilience takes time and effort.